Gone for the Moment
by McB
Summary: Lives slow down to an unsteady pace, people grow apart, days get shorter, love dwindles away, but hand in hand or kicking and screaming, time drags you through it all. Mainly CM. AU
1. one

Gone for the Moment - Chapter One

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"Come on, Mon! Just one more push!"

"I can't do it! It hurts!" Monica screamed, squezing her eyes shut and pushing herself back.

"Yes you can! I know you can! Just one more push and we're going to have a beautiful little boy!" Chandler yelled as gently, and encouragingly, as he could.

"Alright, Monica. On three." The doctor commanded from his place at the end of the hospital bed. "One...two...three!"

Monica clenched her jaw as ever muscle in her lower body contracted in all kinds of pain. Over her screaming and Chandler's yelling, the shrill cry of Baby Bing was heard, and the room never seemed more quiet.

"Oh my god! He's here!" Chandler gently released Monica's hand and jogged to the end of the bed.

"How does he look?" Monica asked in a sigh in between deep breaths.

"He's...beautiful."

The nurse took him to be cleaned up and Chandler moved back to his position at the head of the bed. He placed a sweet kiss on Monica's forehead and wrapped his arms around her lovingly. "We have a baby."

-

_11 months later..._

"No."

"Chandler, it's not your choice. I'm going." Monica sighed and rubbed her hand over the back of her neck.

"Well you're not taking my son with you!" Chandler yelled from his place on the floor with Jake right next to him, happily playing with his blocks and clapping in delight.

"Yes I am. He's my son too."

"You can't just take him! That's illegal!"

"Chandler, I'm his mother, I have a steady job, and a safe place to live, there's no court in the world that would give you custody of him."

"Well why does your _job_ have to be in _Minneapolis_? Why can't you get a job here?"

"Chandler! We've been over this! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I'm not going to let it pass by. We've been fighting like this since a month after Jake was born, we don't work together anymore, there's no hope left for us." She didn't _want_ to leave New York or split Chandler and Jake up, but this was the easy way out she had been looking for.

"Fine! You're tellin' the guys." Chandler got off the floor in a huff and stormed out of the apartment. The vibrations of the slammed door mading Jake erupt in a siren of wails.

-

to be continued...

-

_Yay, thanks for reading! I didn't want to start posting this story until I was finished with it, but I just couldn't wait, I didn't want you guys to forget about me! I have the next chapter all set to post, I just need to know if you guys _want_ me to post it! I've got about half of the story written, so just review, I'll be happy, and you'll get your chapters! Ciao!_


	2. two

Gone for the Moment - Chapter Two

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Chandler doubled over as if somebody had knocked the wind out of him the second the door to Joey and Rachel's apartment slammed shut. He held back the tears that threatened to fall and chocked down his sobs, insteading forcing them out as dry heaves.

"Chandler?" Joey walked out of his room to see what all the noise was and broke out into a run when he saw his friend kneeling on the ground. "What's wrong?"

"Monica-" Chandler sucked in a breath of air and straightened up. "Monica's leaving, and she's taking Jake." His last few words came out in a squeak and he doubled over again, still not letting a tear fall.

"What! She can't do that! Why is she leaving?"

"I can't-I can't do this. You gotta talk to her." Chandler slowly got up-with Joey's help-and collapsed in the recliner.

Without another word said, Joey stormed out of his apartment and over to Monica and Chandler's.

Monica's head snapped up from Jake when the door burst open and a furious-looking Joey marched over to her. "You're leaving! With _Jake_!"

"Joey-" Monica started, already exhausted from having the same argument.

"You can't just leave! Chandler's _here_! You can't take Jake away from him!"

"Joey, calm down! I think it would be better if I told everybody at once. Can you just watch Jake for a few seconds while I call everybody?"

Joey angrily nodded his head and squatted down next to Jake.

A few minutes later, Monica set down the phone and crossed her arms wearily. "Is Chandler at your place?"

Joey looked up at her and nodded his head again before turning his attention back to Jake.

Jake picked up a block and threw it at Joey's head, giddily laughing in response. Joey smiled at him and rubbed the spot where the block had hit. How could something so small and innocent have to go through so much already?

A few minutes later, Ross hurridly walked into the apartment, followed by Phoebe and Rachel. "What's going on? Is everything ok?" He asked, rushing over to Monica and putting a hand on her back. "Where's Chandler? Did he do something?" His tone quickly changed from concerned to angry as he scanned the apartment for her absent husband.

"No, Ross, relax! It's not him! I think you guys should sit down." They all took a seat in the living room and Joey turned his attention away from Jake to focus on Monica.

She rubbed her forehead and leaned against the TV. "Chandler and I have been fighting for quite a while now, and about two weeks ago, I got an offer for a job in Minneapolis-"

"You didn't take it did you?" Phoebe cut in.

"Please, just let me finish before you say anything."

Phoebe recoiled back into the couch and thumped her hands down in her lap.

"I got an offer for a job in Minneapolis, and yes, I did take it. Chandler and I are over, there's nothing left between us. So, in three days, I'm moving, and I'm taking Jake with me."

The four were stunned to silence.

"You're just giving up?" Rachel spat. Monica was never the type to give up, in _anything_.

"I gave up on us a long time ago. I thought a baby would bring us closer, but Jake just seems to be spliting us farther and farther apart. We never have time for each other anymore, and I know I'll always love him, but not like I need to for this to work."

Joey pushed himself off the floor and stormed back out of the apartment and over to his own. Chandler was still in the chair, blankly staring at the floor in front of him.

"Monica just told everybody, I am so so _so_ sorry, Man. Is there anything I can do?"

Chandler just sighed in response and tilted his head to the other side. "I don't think so."

Chandler looked up into Joey's eyes, completely lost.

"Aw, Man. Come here!" Joey rushed over to him and caught him in a fierce hug when he stood. "It's gonna be ok."

"No it's not!" Chandler violently pushed away from Joey. "It's never going to be ok anymore! Monica, my _wife_, is taking Jake, my _son_, and moving _away_. Away to a place where I can't stop by everyday and see how my child is doing, or how much he's grown! Who knows when I'll see him again!"

Joey stepped back a little and tried to put himself in Chandler's place. What could be worse than losing your wife and son to an issue that could have been resolved with a little more time together?

"I'm sorry. Maybe it never_ will_ be ok again, but it will get easier." Joey offered.

Chandler nodded his head and pulled Joey into another hug. "I'm sorry, Joe. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's ok, under these circumstances, I think you're allowed to. So, what are you gonna do now?" They stepped apart from each other and sat down, Chandler in the recliner, Joey on one of the bar stools.

"I have no idea."

"Are you gonna fight for custody?"

"Well what kind of father would I be if I didn't?"

A few seconds of silence followed as they each pondered what the future would be like. Frequent trips between Minnesota and New York. Hundreds of long-distance phone calls. Too many lonely nights that should be filled with laughter and happiness.

"Where are you gonna stay until she leaves?"

Chandler looked up at Joey, a vulnerable look on his face. "Until she leaves? I have no idea. I'm not sure I'm gonna want to live there _after_ she leaves. It wasn't really my place to start with anyway. You think Rachel would want to move back over there? Then maybe I could come back here?"

"I'd love for you to be back here! I mean, I love having Rachel as a roomate, but she's no you."

Just then, Rachel wearily walked into the apartment and looked desperately from Joey to Chandler.

"Oh, honey." Rachel's arms went up and she walked over to Chandler. He stood and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" She pulled back a little and ran her hand down his cheek.

"No. But it doesn't really change much, does it?"

She moved her hand to his chest and stepped away from him. "So, what were you guys talking about?"

"Well, actually, we were wondering if you would want to move back across the hall, after Mon leaves?" Joey announced, standing up and stretching his legs.

"Yea, I don't really want to live there anymore, and I didn't think you'd mind having the big place all to yourself." Chandler attepmted a smile and ran his hands together.

"Oh sure, no problem. Where are you gonna stay tonight?"

"Well, I was thinking of renting your guys' couch, if you don't mind?"

"Anything you need, Chandler. Just say the word and we're here for you."

"Thanks you guys. I'm gonna go..get some stuff together." Chandler waved his hand in the direction of his apartment.

"You sure you want to go over there? Mon's there you know." Rachel questioned.

"Yea, I kinda need to talk to her too." He opened the door and left before they could reply.

He hesitated before opening his own door, and refused to look up at Monica when she called his name.

He brushed past her and into their room, quickly pulling a duffel bag from the closet and beginning to empty his drawers.

"What are you doing?" Monica asked quietly from the door way.

Chandler glanced up at her before looking back down to the pile of clothes on the bed. "Packing."

"Where are you going?"

"Joey's. Rachel's moving back in here when you leave and I'm taking my old room back." Satisfied with the amount of clothes he had, he moved on to the bathroom.

Monica quietly followed him, now leaning on the bathroom door frame. "Look, Chandler-"

"No." Chandler slammed the medicine cabinet closed and turned to her. "I don't want this speech. Not now, not ever. I don't care how _sorry_ you are, I don't care how _guilty_ this makes you feel. You can deal with it on your own. Give your little speech to my pillow, not like you'd ever see the difference." He slung the bag over his shoulder and stormed out of the bathroom to Jake, who was still sitting on the floor with his blocks. "I get him until you leave."

He stalked out of the apartment back over to Joey's.

-

to be continued...

-

_Thanks for the reviews! I'm sorry the first chapter was so short, but it seemed like the only good place to end it, so I gave you a longer chapter today to make up for it! The next one should be a little longer...depending on the reviews! Thanks for reading! You know what to do!_


	3. three

Gone for the Moment - Chapter Three

ooooo

_3 days later..._

Chandler sat alone in his new, yet old, room, staring blankly at the wall. Everybody was over at Monica's, saying good-bye. Chandler had said good-bye to his son before any of them had gotten there, and said nothing to Monica.

She wanted a divorce, that was obvious, and she had asked _him_ to deal with the papers, of all people. She was too busy with the move and new job to find a divorce lawyer in Minneapolis.

Chandler flopped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His breathing was eratic from his attempts to keep from crying and his head was about to explode from the pressure.

He slammed his eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath, trying to will away the pain in his heart.

Outside his door, Joey knocked lightly. "Chandler?"

Chandler opened his eyes and sat back up. "Yea?" He called through the door.

Joey opened the door and wearily leaned against the frame. "She's gone."

Chandler hung his head and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes.

"I'm was gonna go down to the coffee house with everybody, you want to come?"

Chandler shook his head and laid back down.

"You want me to bring something back?"

"No." He whispered.

"Ok. Well, I should be back in about an hour." Joey quietly retreated from the door and exited the apartment.

ooooo

_3 weeks later..._

Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross all walked into Joey and Chandler's apartment. "Hey guys!" Joey looked up from his bowl of cereal once they were all in. "What's up?"

"Well, we were gonna see if you guys wanted to go get some breakfast, but I guess you beat us to it." Ross smiled and motioned toward Joey's bowl.

"Oh, yea. I don't think Chandler would want to go anyway." Joey said before stuffing another spoonful of creal into his mouth.

"Where _is_ he? We never see much of him anymore." Rachel asked, taking a quick glance around the apartment.

"He's in his room, he doesn't come out much."

"Well that's not healthy." Ross stated.

Joey just looked up at him. "Duh. I've tried to get him to come out and go do stuff with me, but he just...lays there and says he's not in the mood."

Phoebe nodded her head and began walking toward Chandler's room.

"Phoebe, where are you going? He's sleeping." Joey sprang out of his chair and ran to block the door from Phoebe's path.

"He always sleeps. He never eats, he never interacts with people, he never does anything. I _think_ it's time he starts moving on. It's been _three weeks._ He's going to forget how to live!" She agressively pushed Joey out of the way and burst into Chandler's room.

He was sprawled out over his bed, only half of his body was covered by the twisted mass of fabric. Several alcohol bottles were scattered around the room, along with empty cigarette packs, and a full ashtray on his nightstand.

Phoebe shook her head in sympathy, she knew things were going to be bad, but from the looks of it, she knew they were only going to get worse. She crawled across the bed and shook Chandler gently.

"Chandler?" She asked, rather loudly.

He mumbled something and swatted at her hand.

"Chandler, come on, you gotta get out of bed!" Phoebe got off the bed, pulling off all the blankets with her. "Come on! Up!"

"Phoebe, please, I don't feel like doing anything right now." Chandler lifted his head up and looked at her.

"And when will you ever? You can't keep doing this!"

"Sure I can, in fact, it's going rather well. I've been laying here for three weeks and this is the first time that you've come to annoy me."

"Ah! That was somewhat sarcasm, we're progressing!"

"No, we're not. Now if you don't mind..." Chandler waved his hand toward the open door.

"No! I'm not leaving. You're getting out of bed, you're getting dressed, and we're going to go out to lunch, all of us."

"All of us? Are you trying to tell me Monica's back?"

"Chandler! If you don't get out of bed right now, I will tear your head off and spike it onto the floor of a nightmare you can't even begin to imagine!"

Chandler stared at her in shock, too afraid to move for fear that she actually _would_ tear his head off.

Phoebe dropped her head in defeat before crawling up on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry, Chandler. I didn't mean to yell at you." She reached his head and turned around to lean against the headboard. She looked down at him and stroked his hair back. "You just need to realise that she's _not coming back._ I hate seeing you go through this and I hate Monica for doing this to you, but you have to move on. It doesn't mean that you have to forget everything you had, but you have to carry on with what you've been left with. We're all here for you if you need something, and _please_ come talk to us if you do. We're going to help you through this."

"You lost her too, you know." He whispered lightly and looked away from her.

"We lost a friend, you lost a family. But hey, it could be worse. They could have died, then you would _never _get to see them again."

Chandler stared up at her in silence.

"I don't _want_ them to die! I'm just saying it would be worse if they _did._ Now come on, I'm hungry. We're leaving in 20 minutes." Phoebe left the room before further protest could be made from Chandler.

ooooo

"Chandler, we're sorry! We had no idea it was you guys'..._place_." Joey pleaded, almost jogging into the apartment to keep up with Chandler.

"It's not your fault. You guys didn't know. It's just..."

"What?" Rachel asked softly, taking a few steps closer to him.

"It's just that everything either reminds me of her, or Jake! That light switch, how when she couldn't figure out what it did." Chandler said, pointing at the object on the wall. "The bath tub, crossword puzzles, this whole apartment, _everything_. It's like I can't get away from them when all I want is to _be with_ them, but it's the one thing that I can't have!" He rubbed his forehead and paced the living room hurridly.

"Chandler, that's perfectly normal!" Phoebe said.

"Perfect? Normal? What's perfect about it? Who is it _normal _for? My heart has never hurt this much before, I've never missed two people more than I do now, and that is _not_ _normal_." Chandler threw his arms in the air and dropped them back down to his sides in defeat.

When nobody said anything, he sadly shook his head and recoiled to his room, his hiding place from the world.

"We gotta do something about this." Joey said, sitting down on one of the barstools. "There's gotta be someway we can help him."

"I wonder how Monica's doing. Has she called any of you?" Phoebe asked, looking to each person for an answer.

They each shook their heads, one after the other.

"Do you think he needs..._professional_ help?" Ross asked quietly as if saying it would label Chandler as _doomed_.

"I don't know. I'd like to think that there isn't anything that we couldn't help one of our best friends through, but nobody has ever dealt with this before. Nobody knows how to handle this." Rachel replied and leaned against the wall by the bathroom.

Ross looked down at his watch, checking the time, and stood up abrubtly when he noticed just how late it was getting. "Whoa, sorry guys. I've gotta get back to work. We'll...talk about this tonight." He weakly waved a good-bye and walked out the door.

Phoebe and Rachel were quick to follow behind and Joey retreated to his room to do nothing but stare up at his ceiling.

Chandler heard the voices stop and Joey's door slam, indicating that they were alone in the apartment. He rolled over on his side and burried his head in his pillows. Did Monica know what she did? How she took his heart to Minneapolis with her and broke it. Did she know how she stole his whole life away in just three days?

He rolled over to his other side and reached down to grab a notebook and pencil from his nightstand.

He popped the cap off the pen, opened the notebook, and let his heart run wild.

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_Well, I'd just like to say thanks to the whole...six people..that are re__ading this. Please, if you read it, review it! It's going to get better, I can promise you that. That drama is coming! But it wont come until I get some more feedback! Thanks for reading, you know what to do now!_


	4. four

Gone for the Moment - chapter four

ooooo

"Hey, man." Joey said, poking his head around Chandler's bedroom door.

"Hey, buddy, what's up?" Chandler replied, looking up from behind his notebook.

"I was gonna order pizza, the Joey Special. Are you in?" Joey asked hopefully, stepping a little more into the room.

"Ah..sure." Chandler replied, one last time wouldn't hurt.

"Awesome! I'll come get you when it's here!" Joey bounced happily out of the room and shut the door behind him.

ooooo

"So I got all my clothes in my arms, except my boxers, which are still on me, and I'm just bombin' it down the hallway with this chick gainin' on me. Then out of nowhere, this guy opens his door and she just _slams_ into it, knockin' herself out cold!" Joey exclaimed over the crust filled box of pizza.

"I go back and stand over her and, after deciding she's not wakin' up anytime soon, I carry her back to her apartment. I lay her down on the couch and then, out of nowhere, her roomate just pounces on me, kissin' me anywhere she can get. So the next morning, I wake up and the girl I went on the date with comes in the room and finds us in bed together, and back down the hallway I went. I didn't care if she was hit by an 18-wheeler, I wasn't goin' back for anything." Joey laughed and threw another crust down into the box.

"Well, don't ever let anybody tell you you have a boring life, Joe." Chandler said, also throwing his crust down into the box.

Joey glanced down at his watch and sprang out of his chair. "Whoa! I got a date to get to!" He walked to the coat rack to grab his jacket and keys off the fooseball table. "Hey, it was nice spending time with you again."

"Yea, it was. You better get going. Have fun." Chandler waved as Joey exited the apartment and started cleaning up the boxes.

After returning from the trash chute he took in the view of his apartment from the door. He took a stroll around, running his hand along the wall and lingering in certain spots, like where the fooseball table stood and the spackle covered wall.

A tear rolled down his cheek and he hopelessly whiped away with his sleeve on the way to his room.

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_Ok, sorry it took a day longer to get this one up and sorry it's so incredibly short, but the next one might take even longer. On Saturday morning, my computer decided to go bizerk and just stop working, so we had to reinstal windows and now the whole story is gone, so I'm rewriting everything. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me before, and I should be getting smarter and saving it to CDs and disks and whatnot, but I don't, because I'm stupid like that. Thanks for all the reviews though! They really motivate me to keep on writing the story, and now I'm gonna need all the motivation I can get._

_For those who don't like people that whine about not getting a lot of reviews, stop yelling at them. You don't know what it's like to work your ass off writing a story and then not know what people are thinking about it. So if you have something to say about it, do everybody a favor and keep it to yourself._

_Thanks for reading, please review!_


	5. five

Gone for the Moment - chapter five

_By the way, Ross and Rachel are together, not married, but dating._

ooooo

Joey strolled into the apartment, snapping his fingers and humming his rendition of Bright Sun Shiny Day. After finally getting Chandler to talk and then having a fantastic date with a girl he was actually starting to see a future with, life was finally starting to look up. Ever since Monica left everybody had been out of step with each other and too busy to find time to talk and catch up. It seemed like she actually _was_ the glue that held the group together.

Joey tossed his keys down on the counter and began to head to his room, but stopped when a small pool of red spilling out from under Chandler's door caught his eye. A wave of panic rose in him and he dashed across the apartment. He tried opening the door but only got it a few inches, something was in the way.

"Chandler!" he shouted and slapped his hand on the door. "Chandler, come on!" he leaned more weight into the door and got it open just far enough so he could slip in.

"Oh my God," he said, barely audibly, and ran back out of the room as quickly as possible to grab the phone, almost diving across the living room in a desperate attempt to reach it.

After hanging up with 911 he hastily called Ross and told him to get over to their place as quickly as possible. He didn't even stop to disconnect the call, he threw the phone down and ran back into Chandler's room.

Gently, he kneeled down on the ground next to him as tears started pooling in his eyes and bluring his world.

"Please, Chandler, not here, not now. Please don't die," he said as strongly as his voice would will.

A few minutes later Ross burst into the apartment with Phoebe and Rachel in tow. "Joey?" he called out and began frantically searching the place.

"Joey!" he shouted, poking his head around Chandler's bedroom door. "Chandler!"

Joey had Chandler's upper body cradeled in his arms as he rocked back and forth, whispering "it's going to be okay" over and over again.

Ross stared down at the two of them and only turned away when he heard a thud in the living rom. Rachel had fainted and Phoebe sprung to action, half pulling half carrying her to the couch.

Ross snapped out of his daze and leaned all of his weight into Chandler's door, pushing both Joey and Chandler out of the way. "Joey, come on, we have to get him out into the living room."

Joey suddenly shot off the floor and to the other side of Chandler's room, slowly backing away from the blood covered body on the floor as if he had just realized something.

"Joe?" Ross asked, but Joey seemed to have gone into a trance with his eyes transfixed on Chandler.

Ross turned away from him and grabbed onto the shoulders of Chandler's shirt and began dragging him out of the room.

When Rachel came to, she wearily sat up on the couch and prayed that the scene she had walked in on was all just a horrible dream. Looking over the apartment, she realized it coudn't have been more true. Phoebe was standing in Chandler's room trying to comfort Joey who was knelt on the floor, choked in sobs. Ross was standing over an unconcious Chandler, with a leg on each side of him, clapping in front of his face and yelling at him in an attempt to get him to wake up.

Just then, two paramdedics came rushing into the apartment carrying a stretcher. They checked some things on Chandler, got him strapped down on the stretcher, and hauled him away with Ross trailing behind to ride along in the ambulance.

Rachel slowly got off the couch and wandered into Chandler's room. "They took him to the hospital," she announced. "Ross went with, do you guys want to head down there?"

Joey lifted himself off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes were red from crying and his face was still pale from the shock of everything.

"Joey?" Phoebe asked, bending down to try and look him in the eye. He paused for a few seconds before nodding his head and standing up. He pushed his way past them and out of the room, careful to step over the giant blood stain on the floor, and grabbed his keys.

"Hey, wait for us!" Phoebe called after him as she and Rachel rand to catch up.

ooooo

They all jogged into the ER and past the receptionist, who was about ready to take off after them, when they spotted Ross sitting in a chair a ways down the hallway.

"Ross!" Rachel called, running up to him and wrapping her arms around his chest.

"Have they told you anything?" Phoebe asked.

"No, they haven't. They just ran him right into that room and they haven't come out yet," he explained, wrapping his arms tighter around Rachel.

Joey hopelessly plopped down in a chair and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, letting out a shaky breath.

Phoebe glanced back at Joey and then turned to Ross again. "Do you think we should call Monica?"

"I don't know if Chandler would want us to, but I think we have to. They _are_ still married and he _is_ the father of their child." Ross said, looking at the doors that Chandler was behind.

"I'll go call her," Rachel said, unwillingly pulling away from Ross and heading back down the hallway to find a pay phone.

ooooo

Rachel nervously clutched the phone in her shaking hand and tapped her foot against the floor impaciently. "Come on, Mon, pick up the phone," she whispered, looking at the clock on the wall and glancing around the bustling emergency room.

"Hello?" Monica's voice answered on the other end of the line.

"Monica, hey, it's Rachel."

Rachel! Hey! Sorry I haven't called you guys, I've just been so busy with unpacking, getting settled in, work, and Jake, I don't have much freetime."

"Yea, that's okay, I understand. Um, listen..I'm at the hospital"

"The hospital? Oh my god, are you okay?" Monica cut in.

"Yea, yea, I'm fine. But...it's..um...it's Chandler." Rachel stuttered, just wanting to get off the phone and back into Ross's arms.

"Chandler? Wha...what happened? Is he alright?" Monica asked quietly with an unrecognizable tone of voice.

"Mon, he wouldn't be here if he was alright. I think you should come to New York, I don't want to explain everything over the phone."

"Okay, I'll get there as soon as I can. How bad is it, Rach?"

"We don't know yet, just..get here fast."

"I'm on my way. I'll see you soon."

Rachel hung up the phone, shaking even more than she was before, and slowly walked back down the hallway.

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_Thanks for reading! This chapter was a little longer than the last one, it could have been longer but I wanted to get this up and it seemed like a good place to stop. Let me know what you think! Please review!_


	6. six

Gone for the Moment - Chapter Six

ooooo

One agonizing hour and several horrible cups of coffee later, a doctor finally came out to relax the nerves of five hopeful souls.

"Are you all here for Chandler Bing?" The doctor asked, glancing around the waiting room and it's five occupants.

"Yes, we are. How is he?" Ross asked, springing out of his chair to greet the doctor.

"Well, first off, I'm Dr. Carlson, I'll be Mr. Bing's doctor while he's here. Are any of you related to him? I'm afraid I can only tell his family right now."

"I'm his brother-in-law, his wife's on her way. They're his friends, but please, doctor, we _are_ his family. It would take us forever to contact his parents," Ross explained and put on his best 'pleading' face.

"All right, I guess I can make an exception. Why don't you guys have a seat?" He asked, motioning towards the chairs they had all come out of.

"He lost a lot of blood, we actually weren't sure if he was going to make it when he first got here. We got him breathing again and stopped the bleeding but he's still in critical condition until his body can get itself back up to par. I'm afraid I can't let any of you in to see him yet though, at least not until his wife arrives," Dr. Carlson said.

"So..is he going to be okay?" Rachel asked, still going over the fresh information in her head.

"Yes, he should be fine. But, like with all of our other attempted suicide patients, he'll have to see a physcologist."

"For how long?" Ross asked.

"As long as the physcologist thinks it will take for Mr. Bing to make a full mental recovery."

"Chandler's not crazy," Phoebe protested, not liking the idea that Chandler actually _did_ need professional help.

"I never said he was. But obviously there's something bothering him enough mentally for him to try and kill himself and we can help him get past it," Dr. Carlson explained as his pager went off. "I'm sorry but I have to get going. If you have any questions, have one of the nurses page me. Also, I'd like to know when Mrs. Bing gets here," he tucked his clipboard under his arm and walked briskly down the hallway toward the nurses station.

They all settled back into their seats, digesting the news of Chandler's situation.

"So what do we do now?" Rachel asked, looking down the row at her friends.

"We wait," Ross replied simply. "We wait until Monica comes."

ooooo

_Six hours later..._

Monica speed-walked down the hallway, her feet a blur and her eyes frantically searching hallways for a friendly face.

"Monica!" Rachel called, running up to her as she was poking her head in another patient's room.

Monica spun around and raced over to her friend, wrapping her arms tight around her when they met.

"I'm so glad you're here," Rachel whispered into Monica's shoulder.

"It's good to _be_ here," Monica started. "Well, not _here_, but..you know what I mean."

"Where's Jake?" Rachel asked, glancing down at Monica's arms and noticing that no baby occupied them.

"I dropped him off at my parents' house. I didn't want him here," Monica explained as they walked toward the small seating area. "So, how is he, Rach?" She asked somberly, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets.

"He's..well, he's alive. The doctor said he's still in critical condition, but he should be okay."

"What happend?"

Rachel chewed her thumb nail and nervously stuck her other hand in her pocket like a child that has just given a bad report card to her parents. "He..he tried to kill himself, Mon."

Monica stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Rachel in disbelief. "_What?"_ She spat, and stepped closer to Rachel.

"Monica, Chandler loves you. He didn't want you to go and he didn't want to give up on your marriage. He was a _wreck _after you left. He barely ate, he almost never came out of his room, we had to lie our asses off so he wouldn't be fired. It was horrible, Mon."

"Oh my God...well why didn't somebody call me?"

"We did! But you were never there!"

"Where's everybody else?" Monica asked, once again glancing around the stark white hallways.

"They're down the hallway. Come on, we should get down there."

Monica and Rachel walked the rest of the way in silence, niether finding words to say in this untimely situation.

"Mon," Ross almost shouted as he stood from his chair and wrapped her in a bear hug.

Monica stepped away from Ross and moved on to give Phoebe a hug. Monica stopped after one step towards a barely responsive Joey, who was blankly staring at the ground.

"Is he okay?" Monica whispered to Ross, still looking at Joey.

"I don't know. He hasn't said anything since he found Chandler." Ross explained, gesturing towards Joey's blood stained clothes hidden under his black jacket.

She nodded her head and then turned to face Ross. "So, can I see Chandler?"

"Yea, we haven't been allowed in to see him yet, the doctor wanted to talk to you first. He said to have one of the nurses page him. I'll go try to get ahold of him," Ross said before jogging off in search of a nurse.

Monica sat down heavily in a chair next to Rachel and leaned her head back against the wall.

ooooo

Another hour and a brief talk with the doctor about Chandler's condition brought Monica to his door, clutching the handle with a cocktail of emotions.

She was angry that he had done this to himself, she was horrified that he could have died, she was urgent to see him, and she was relieved that he was alive.

She snapped her wrist and the door opened, exposing an unconscious, pale, unshaven, thin Chandler.

Stepping into the room and closing the door behind her, Monica's hand covered her mouth in shock as she moved towards the bed slowly.

She pulled a chair up to the bed and wearily sat down in it.

She looked away from Chandler and averdeted her eyes to her hands. As she rubbed them together, the absense of her wedding ring stuck out to her and she quicklky glanced up at him, hoping that him seeing her without it on wouldn't hurt him too much.

She left it in Minneapolis, burried in one of her dresser drawers, positive that her marriage was over. _I should have kept it on until it was final, we are still married._

She quickly shook off the feeling of guilt and reached up to gently take his hand in hers, careful not to disrupt the white bandage that hugged his wrist.

The gentle movement woke Chandler from his haze and he turned his head to see what had caused him to be brought out of the peace of unconciousness.

"Mon...yo-you're here," he whispered grogily.

Monica's head snapped up and she quickly began debating whether to stay and talk or bolt from the room and get on the next flight back to Minneapolis.

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_You guys, thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews! I really really love reading them and hearing what you guys think, that and hearing what agony you are in to get the next chapter, mwuahahahaha...jk. I didn't have time to proof read this so sorry if there are any mistakes. This chapter was a little longer but hard as heck to write. I had to just stop the scene where Monica sits down and waits for the doc to come because I didn't know how to continue it, so, sorry if it sounds bad! Anyway, let me know what you think! Please review!_


	7. seven

Gone for the Moment - Chapter Seven

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_She quickly shook off the feeling of guilt and reached up to gently take his hand in hers, careful not to disrupt the white bandage that hugged his wrist._

_The gentle movement woke Chandler from his haze and he turned his head to see what had caused him to be brought out of the peace of unconciousness._

_"Mon...yo-you're here," he whispered grogily._

_Monica's head snapped up and she quickly began debating whether to stay and talk or bolt from the room and get on the next flight back to Minneapolis._

_Where we left off..._

"Yea...I am," she replied, her voice becoming just about as hoarse as his. Gently, she set his hand back down on the bed and unconciously slid a few inches away from him in her chair.

"Chandler, we need to talk," Monica said after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Look, Mon," Chandler started, trying to sit up on his elbows. "I'm so, so, _so_, sorry. I don't want you to think this was your fault."

"But, Chandler, it _is_ my fault. Sure you had _some_ fault in it, but it was mostly me," Monica said sternly and crossed her arms.

Chandler paused and picked at the bed sheet. "Are you mad at me?"

"Yea, I am. You weren't thinking Chandler. You weren't thinking about Jake, _or_ me, _or_ our friends."

"I know, I was stupid. And believe me, I love all of you more than anything in the world," he was sitting up now, with his hands resting in his lap and his head hung low. "But the pain was just too much to take. I tried getting over you, I really did, but nothing worked. Every single thing reminded me, and still does...of _you_. You're everywhere, Mon," he pleaded as a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

Monica hung her head and rubed her hands over her bare arms. "Chandler, I'm sorry for leaving, and I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but we just don't work. Did you ever think of the pain you'd be causing Jake if you had died? He would have grown up without a Dad, just like _you_."

"You don't know me," Chandler spat quietly and fiercely, rubbing the tears from his face angrily.

"Yes, Chandler, I _do_ know you. You don't think about how your actions effect other people, you're selfish, you're immature, you're irresponsible, and you just don't _think_, Chandler. Come talk to me when you've grow up," Monica briskly stood from her chair and walked out of the room before Chandler had a chance to stop her.

"Damnit!" He yelled angrily, slamming his hand down on the bed and accidentally hiting the nurse-call button. He clenched his fists, brought his knees half-way up to his chest, and started sobbing uncontrolably.

A few seconds later a nurse came rushing in the room, "Mr. Bing, do you need som-"

"Get out!" He yelled furiously at the innocent nurse.

"Mr. Bing, please, calm down," the nurse pleaded as he moved to the side of the bed to adjust the drip. Chandler angrily pushed him away, knocking him back a few steps.

"Get out of my room!" He yelled.

A few other nurses and a doctor came rushing into the room. They quickly caught on to what was happening and moved to restrain Chandler. "Mr. Bing, calm down," the doctor ordered sternly, walking out of the room and coming back in a few seconds later with a small bottle and a needle.

"No! Just leave me alone! Please!" Chandler continued to yell and struggle against the strength of the nurses.

"Mr. Bing, you're having a panic attack. If you don't calm yourself down I'm going to have to sedate you," the doctor said in the same tone of voice, holding the loaded seringe and needle in the air.

Chandler's struggles lessened as he started letting out a wail of sreams and cries, tear pouring down his face.

The doctor moved to the side of the bed and quickly injected the liquid into Chandler's arm. The nurses gently laid him back as he began to lose conciousness and tucked his arms under his blanket to keep him warm.

"Should we put the restraints on him?" One of the nurses asked.

"No, no. He'll be fine when he wakes up. Let's let him sleep it off."

ooooo

_Eighteen-year-old Chandler Bing waited impatienly in the driver's seat of his brand new sports car, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and glancing at his watch every ten seconds. "Cal! Let's go!" He shouted out of the passenger side door to his sixteen-year-old brother._

_"Sorry, sorry, I'm just nervous, I want this to be perfect, I really like her," Cal said as he slid into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut._

_"What are you doing?" Chandler asked when Cal started to pull the seat belt down._

_"Putting on my seatbelt?" Cal questioned._

_"Dude, you're gonna wrinkle your shirt. Girls don't like wrinkled clothes."_

_"Oh, yea, you're right," Cal said, letting go of the seat belt and settling back into the seat. "Ok, let's get this show on the road!" He said exitedly, bouncing his knees._

_Chandler reached down and turned the volume on the stereo up and sped off down the road, tires squealing and leaves flying._

_"Hey, Man, slow down a bit," Cal shouted nervously over the noise of the stereo as Chandler wound his way through the deserted suburban roads, paying no attention to any speed limits._

_"We're all ready late, thanks to you. Girls _also_ don't like it when guys are _late_."_

_"Yea? Well, they also don't like it when their guys are _dead_. Come on, just slow down a little, the speed limit's 30, you're going 45."_

_"Speed limits are just suggestions. Besides, we're like one block away from Kristen's house anyway. You have _got_ to calm down and just relax," Chandler said, taking his eyes off the road to look at his brother and slap him on the chest._

_"Chandler!" Cal yelled, pointing toward the road and sucking himself back in his seat._

_"Shit!" Chandler spun the wheel to the right, skidding on sand and beautiful red and yellow leaves, but it was too late._

_Car collided with truck, metal twisted and bent, glass went flying, bodies jerked back and forth, people screamed, cars flipped, silence took over._

_Chandler slowly opened his eyes and looked down at himself, covered in blood. He was laying on his side, smashed against the ground. Blood dripped down on him in an unsteady pace, combining with his own. He didn't need to look up, it was too silent, he already knew. He had killed his own brother. Cal was dead._

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_I am SO SORRY that it took me forever to get this chapter up. I've just been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and I haven't had much time to write. That and I've had major writer's block, ugh! I really want to give you guys a super long chapter, but it's been so hard to write this! I promise the next chapter will be longer, but then you can't be mad at me if it takes me longer to get it up!_

_Please please please please please reivew! Thanks for reading!_


	8. eight

Gone for the Moment - Chapter Eight

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Chandler shot up in bed, frantically glancing around the room in a state of utter panic. His hospital gown was damp, as was his hair, and his heart was racing a mile a minute.

He pulled off his gown and tossed it over the side of the bed, leaving him in nothing but a pair of boxers.

Giving the room a decieving glance, he slowly laid back and prayed that his nightmare wouldn't find him tonight.

ooooo

Joey wandered the lonely street that his homely Greenwich Village apartment inhabited. He snuck out of the hospital without waking anybody else, them worrying about where he had run off to _and_ Chandler would be too much to take.

After Monica had spoken with Chandler, she huffed out of the hospital without another word to any of them, not even giving them notice of where she was staying tonight.

Joey reached the apartment building and looked up at it. It looked colder, unwelcoming. A shiver ran through him as he reached out and grasped the door handle with a shaky hand.

There had never been more stairs, the hallways had never been darker, it had never been quieter.

Their apartment had been left in a state of chaos. Bloody towels strewn across the floor from when they had tried to clean Chandler up a bit and stop the bleeding. A giant blood stain, starting as a smooth outline in Chandler's room, then becoming jagged and smeared as it spilt into the living room. Unmade beds and yesterday's mail, now red and stained with blood, lying on the floor next to the couch.

Joey rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes and walked further into the apartment blindly. He tossed his jacket on the couch, rolled up his blood stained sleeves, and grabbed a bucket and sponge from under the sink. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

ooooo

Phoebe roamed the halls of the hospital, running her hands over the walls and gazing at other people in various waiting rooms. Were they there for the same reasons? Were they there for happier reasons? What kind of outlook did _their_ future hold?

She had woken up when she felt the absence of Joey's arms around her, keeping her warm and protected. Wondering if he had gotten up to find food or a bathroom, she had set out to look for him, but that was half an hour ago and now she couldn't even remember what she was doing up and wandering the hallways aimlessly.

She had lost her course of action, somewhat mirroring what her life had become. She knew the best days of her life had come to an end, and the days that held the same amount of joy and peace were far in the coming.

The ICU was quiet at three in the morning. Patients were sleeping, as were their friends and family that had come to visit them.

Looking up ahead, her eyes landed upon Ross and Rachel, peacefully sleeping in each other's arms.

She wearily meandered up to them and plopped back down in her chair, falling asleep as soon as her body slumped back to it's place against the wall.

ooooo

Rachel sighed contentedly in Ross's arms. There, she was safe, she was warm, and she was loved. His arms formed a protective sheild around her heart, fighting off the world and it's pain.

Monica was her best friend, and it was hard getting by without her. Phoebe was great, and caring, and sweet, but she was no Monica. Monica was the glue, without her, everybody fell apart, out of step. There was no fantastic breakfast to look forward to start your day off right, no dinner with the gang to _end_ your day right. Her friends were her bookends, they started and ended the day. Now her days all flowed together, unseparated, unnoticed, uncared for.

She squirmed a bit in her seat to get more comfortable. She had never fallen asleep, she had watched Joey walk away, lost within himself, she watched Phoebe wake and go in search of something not five minutes after him. She watched tired nurses and doctors pass as they made their nightly rounds of checking on patients and restocking carts of supplies.

She watched as other guests and visitors walked past, looking just as lost as them, some looking happier than if they had just won ten-billion dollars, even at this hour of the morning.

She hoped that, someday, she would also be able to find that much happiness.

ooooo

Ross tightened his grip around Rachel for the seventeenth time that night, not ever wanting to let go. He too, had never fallen asleep, and he knew that she hadn't either, but he didn't want to start a conversation, knowing that this was as much rest as they were going to get tonight.

Everytime he closed his eyes and started drifting off into unconciousness, images of the past 24 hours flashed through his mind. Chandler lying in a pool of blood on his bedroom floor. Joey cradling him and rocking back and forth with tears streaming down his face. Rachel collapsing to the floor and turning whiter than a ghost. Phoebe never looking more the part of panic. Joey catatonically staring down at Chandler's almost lifeless form with that look of pain on his face. Gripping Chandler's hand so tight in the ambulance that he was afraid it was going to break. Chasing after the paramedics as they rushed Chandler down the hallway. Waiting frantically for everybody else to show up just so he'd have somebody's shoulder to cry on and arms to collapse into. Waiting for the news on Chandler in the uncomfortably white waiting room. Watching hopelessly has Monica walked past them with a look of anger on her face.

Life had never been more confusing. It was like the world was trying to put together a puzzle and they had been given the pieces that just didn't seem to fit together.

ooooo

Monica gazed up and around her at the tall, colorful buildings of Times Square. She hadn't been there in so long, it was like going for the first time. It was ever changing. New banners, new colors, new faces, new sounds, new smells, the only thing that stayed the same was the feeling that she was home. This is where she truly belonged. Minneapolis was like a mini-New York. Tall buildings, lots of people, same weather, same noises, but no brother, no free spirited blonde, no best friend, no dim witted actor...no Chandler.

Life wasn't the same, and it seemed that it never would be again. She couldn't get rid of the feeling of guilt that all of this was her fault. If she had just stayed and tried to talk things out with Chandler, he would never have tried to kill himself, everybody would be just the same, and life would have gone on peacefully to the beat of their hearts.

Now life had become one unsteady beat that none of them could keep up with.

Monica plopped down on a bench and watched the people walking by in the wee hours of the morning. Where were they going? What were they doing out this late? Were they happy?

The ground had flipped over and hell had been raised up on their peaceful, innocent lives.

ooooo

to be continued...

ooooo

_Ok, so sorry! I really really wanted to make this one longer, but I just couldn't, without making it more boring. Plus, this seemed like a good place to stop. I'd REALLY like more than 3 reviews this time. PLEASE! Answers as to what the heck is going on are coming, but I need some feedback! I can't get much from what three reviews say. I really need to know what you guys think so I know what direction to go with this so I'm not hated by everybody for writing such a horrible story. Thanks for reading, please review!_


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